In honor of Season 3 of Ted Lasso coming out next week, I thought I’d share the wisdom of Roy Kent and how it applies to us specifically as healers and helpers.
One of my favorite scenes at the start of season two is when Roy tells Rebecca “Don’t you dare settle for fine!” In the show, he’s offering relationship advice, but I think it’s life wisdom for everyone.
Especially for mental health professionals.
We’re pretty much primed for settling for less than fine in our lives; our path to becoming therapists comes from a desire to deeply serve others; often at the cost of attending to our own wants and needs.
Settling for less than fine typically bleeds into all areas of our life, and it shows up as:
- Not expressing for our needs so as to avoid conflict
- Unfulfilling or one-sided relationships with others
- Feelings of resentment, frustration, bitterness
- Continuing to work where we’re barely able to pay the bills
- Neglecting our own health needs; physical and mental
- Boundaries that are either inconsistent or non-existent
You get the idea. It’s a big, BIG problem.
Taking Roy Kent’s advice to not settle for fine is an important step in building a future that feels fulfilling, joyful, expansive and vibrant. It helps make our careers as helping professionals more sustainable.
Start with being curious and explore where you’re settling for fine in your life Are you settling in your job, your relationships, your friendships, your boundaries?
It’s important to just start with an honest exploration of these questions. You’ll likely find this is a pattern that shows up in several areas of your life, that’s pretty common. Take the Ted Lasso approach of “Be curious, not judgmental” here; don’t beat yourself up about it, instead give yourself credit for building your awareness. Because without this awareness, you can’t make changes.
Next, think about what would it look like to have MORE than fine in each of these areas of your life. How would you feel about yourself, your work, and other people? What changes might happen as a result?
Lastly, identify ONE area of your life that you’ll start to re-adjust your relationship with settling for less than what you want and need. Take action on that one thing, and see what happens.
Doing this work can kick start some meaningful transformation.
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this; let me know in the comments your takeaways, insights or curiosities!